In This Despair

Hi everyone! Don't think that I'm hopelessly depressed when you read this. I simply woke up yesterday feeling caught up in despair, and I write to get myself out of those thoughts. Maybe this will someday be helpful to one of you.

In This Despair

By Cristie B. Gardner

Oh God! Where art thou? Hear my plea;

I yearn to know what pleases Thee;

And though my heart is painful; still

I seek to know Thy mind, Thy will.

Where dost Thou want that I should go?

What dost Thou want that I should know?

Amidst the many tasks I face

I seek Thy comforting embrace.

A knowledge and a surety

That what is now and what will be

Are two distinct paths I shall take

To find my peace, for my own sake.

I need not know the end just yet

I only ask not to forget

The clear direction Thou hast shown;

The solace of Thy will has grown.

The hole is deep; I burrow in.

I do not know where to begin

To find the light once more in me.

I struggle with futility.

Though seeming mindlessly I grope

Through darkened halls, I hold my hope

And set before me, like a lamp,

It warms the wall so cold, so damp.

Its tiny spark is fuel to life;

It flares to brightness, as a knife

To trim the trappings binding me

And then, at last, to set me free.