My Man Stan

The guy you see to your left is the greatest man in the world. I know some of you might argue with that, but you're probably married to his sons, so you have to credit the source. I have been married to My Man Stan for over 35 years; this year will be the 36th on December 15. I can honestly say I have never met a kinder, more compassionate, more willing to serve person than Stan.

When I first met Stan, he was dating my best friend Elaine. The staff for the high school newspaper was assembled in our classroom, busily working on the next issue of the paper. My friend was the editor in chief and I was the editorial editor. In walked this amazing, tall dark and handsome (ok, well, not ALL that tall!) dude. My heart and just about all my innards did a flip flop. He was incredibly attractive! I felt terrible--having feelings for my best friend's boyfriend? I quickly squelched the idea and ducked my head right back down to my work on the desk, all the time being amazed at my reaction to this guy. He literally about knocked me off my feet!

About that time, I was dating a cute, balding return missionary who had gone to Scotland. But it clearly wasn't going anywhere. Meanwhile, Elaine's former boyfriend was dating our other girlfriend Shirley--not seriously, just fun. We kind of had this "As the World Turns" type of story line going on with our whole group--but you need to understand, that's the way people dated in those days. We just all had a great time with each other.

Along with working on the school newspaper, I was the high school reporter for KOVO radio. Every week I went in and recorded a little blurb about what was going on in the school. I always had to know the scores for the games, but I never went to the games. So someone suggested that I should call Stan Gardner. I did. He always knew the scores, and after a few calls he started asking me if I'd like to go see the next game with him (then I could write down the score as it happened). I always politely refused--after all, I was dating another guy.

And so it was that over time Merrill (my RM boyfriend) and I broke up, and so did Stan and Elaine. But we were all going to prom with the wrong people! So in a moment of privacy during our prom date, I asked Elaine to let Stan know I was "available." I think he asked me out a week or so later. In fact, I think I took him on a treasure hunt picnic. We also went to see Camelot at the theater. Afterwards he took me to his house for ice cream, because it was free there, and it cost 10 cents at the ice cream shop. We had a bowl of ice cream and then he played "Clair de Lune" for me on the piano.

I practically swooned. I was totally wowed by this guy.

But I fought it. Over the course of the next several months we became close friends. We read the Book of Mormon together, we talked a lot, we hiked up to the top of the Y to watch the sunrise while we ate oranges. We went a lot of places with the whole group. We became partners on the ballroom dance team at the school (he would come pick me up in his tennis shorts and do the tango just before tennis practice).

Some of the things that attracted me to Stan that I have found to be super important over the years: he has absolute integrity. He has drive and dedication. He is talented, but he works very hard to develop his talents. He is faithful to me, to our family, to the Gospel. He is thoughtful and kind. He loves to learn. And he is infinitely wise.

We dated for several months. We didn't kiss until the night we graduated from high school. Okay, I'm not going into any more detail there, but suffice it to say, we were in love over the summer, and that love continued as we grew and worked on our individual goals. In the fall we were both supposed to go to BYU, but his parents were wise and felt it would be best if there was a little distance between us. So they enrolled him at Utah State, where he got a four year tennis scholarship and majored in Pre-Med. We wrote to each other every day and it was so fun to get his letters! I still have them all, somewhere...He often came home on the weekends.

We became pretty serious, but we wanted him to go on a mission. Only problem was, it was during the Vietnam War, and young men could be drafted. The Church had arranged that two boys could go from each ward per year via a special quota system they had with the government. But there were six guys older than Stan. From every possible standpoint it seemed that he would have to wait three years before leaving on his mission. We prayed about it and made the decision that no matter how long it took, he would go.

Once we made the decision, I had a strong feeling that we wouldn't have to wait that long. Within a few months, the government announced a lottery system for the draft, based on birthdays. They put all 365 days into a bin, pulled them out and whatever number you were drawn, that was your ranking. Anyone whose birthday fell after somewhere in the 200s could serve a mission. Earlier birthdays planned on serving in the military. But there was a caveat: the Church still had the quota system in place, so they chose the two boys with the earliest birthdays and sent them on missions from the quota. Everyone else fit into the parameters for being able to go out immediately, so Stan left in the fall of 1970.

We wrote to each other, and I dated and grew spiritually while he grew spiritually on his mission. When he came home, it was obviously right. We got engaged two weeks after his return and were married three months later.

Well, that's a long story to tell about our romance! Maybe one of these days I'll tell you some more about this amazing man. His birthday is June 13th. I'll try to get some more pictures on here so you can see a little of our history, but right now I don't have a scanner and my internet connection is flaky, so it will have to wait.

I want to honor my wonderful husband, father to our adorable and amazing eight children. I love you Stan! Someday I'll give you space on my blog so you can tell YOUR side of the story!