Let's Face it: English is a Crazy Language

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick?

Happy Birthday Josh!

(here's an older picture--we're missing little Joshua James in this one, but it's the only family picture I have on my computer!)

Our third oldest son Joshua Adam celebrates his birthday this month. Josh will be 31 on July 19th. So what can I tell you about Josh? Well, for starters, he’s a very smart man. I enjoy hearing Josh’s perspective on decisions because he usually has a lot of interesting thoughts, and his counsel is solid. Sometimes I wonder who is the parent and who is the offspring here! Josh is a Certified Financial Planner, and he gives sound financial advice. He has built a good business through some challenging beginning years, and he is inspiring to me because once he makes a decision he sticks to it. He works with Prudential and is one of the few remaining in the group with which he was hired.

Josh sings with the Tabernacle Choir, and you’ll often see his face grace the TV screen. He and his brother Matt are in it together; Matt was selected for the choir earlier this year, and it is so gratifying for me to see them singing, often sitting together! My heart swells with pride when I listen to them and watch them perform. I love it most of all when Josh and Matt are singing in the Choir, and Melodie and Brittany are in the Orchestra at Temple Square, all at the same time. I know that being in the Choir is a great sacrifice of time, and it is amazing to me how Josh and Melodie manage that challenge with four little ones. But manage they do, and do it beautifully. Their children are happy and confident and they are very well behaved.


The best choice I think Josh ever made was in finding his eternal sweetheart, Melodie. They met when they both served as performing missionaries in Nauvoo, Illinois. The first time we met Melodie, we were touched by her warmth, her radiance, and her goodness. She is a blessing to Josh and to all of us!

Josh and Melodies’s house tends to be “Command Central,” as Brit has called it. Over the years, they have welcomed everyone to stay there. They have tirelessly changed bedding, set up beds, hosted family gatherings there, and welcomed Steve, Dave and Lori and their kids, Matt and Brit (before they got their own home a few blocks away), Emilie (who stayed there for about a year I think), Joel and Heather, Stan and I, Caitlin, and Nathaniel. All of us, in addition to other family members from Melodie’s side. I enjoy the spirit in their home. It is loving and patient, and I know that Josh and Melodie are doing their best to keep their relationship strong and raise their children well.

Josh, I am very proud of you, and I love you very much. Happy Birthday, Dear Son!

Adam Matthew Gardner

The handsome young man you see in this picture is Adam Matthew Gardner, who turned five years old on July 6! Adam is Josh and Melodie’s oldest son. His siblings are named Jarom Dallen, Rachel Lovina (who was featured in another blog entry earlier), and Joshua James.
Adam is a very bright little boy. He is full of life and interested in everything. I would have to say his greatest love seems to be playing the cello. He is already quite proficient, especially for a five-year-old! He has a number of pieces in his repertoire. He doesn’t need to have music to be able to play “I Am a Child of God.” He performed that piece beautifully at the family reunion we just had in Provo Canyon has week, and completely wowed the whole Gardner family!
Adams’ cello teacher is his Aunt Brittany. She has encouraged him and helped him to learn so much. Now she is also teaching Jarom how to play the cello! Adam works hard to learn, and his mother Melodie is wonderful at helping him to practice consistently.

Adam seems to remember everything he is told, and he is very good with his brothers and sister. He takes care of them, he helps his mother and father, and he sets a good example. He and Jarom are best friends. Yesterday I was able to visit their family and I enjoyed watching how he and Jarom interacted. They truly enjoy each other.


He also has learned to read quite well, mostly teaching himself. He enjoys learning.
I guess when you’re talking about your grandchildren (and your children!) you tend to be a little bit prejudiced. But that’s ok—I just have to say that Adam Matthew Gardner is a wonderful boy and I am so proud of him! I love him very much. Happy birthday this month, Adam!

A Fun Idea...

I got this off my friends blog and thought it might be fun, plus it gives me a chance to find out how many people actually read my blog :)

1. As a comment on this post, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you