Let's Face it: English is a Crazy Language

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick?

Happy Birthday Josh!

(here's an older picture--we're missing little Joshua James in this one, but it's the only family picture I have on my computer!)

Our third oldest son Joshua Adam celebrates his birthday this month. Josh will be 31 on July 19th. So what can I tell you about Josh? Well, for starters, he’s a very smart man. I enjoy hearing Josh’s perspective on decisions because he usually has a lot of interesting thoughts, and his counsel is solid. Sometimes I wonder who is the parent and who is the offspring here! Josh is a Certified Financial Planner, and he gives sound financial advice. He has built a good business through some challenging beginning years, and he is inspiring to me because once he makes a decision he sticks to it. He works with Prudential and is one of the few remaining in the group with which he was hired.

Josh sings with the Tabernacle Choir, and you’ll often see his face grace the TV screen. He and his brother Matt are in it together; Matt was selected for the choir earlier this year, and it is so gratifying for me to see them singing, often sitting together! My heart swells with pride when I listen to them and watch them perform. I love it most of all when Josh and Matt are singing in the Choir, and Melodie and Brittany are in the Orchestra at Temple Square, all at the same time. I know that being in the Choir is a great sacrifice of time, and it is amazing to me how Josh and Melodie manage that challenge with four little ones. But manage they do, and do it beautifully. Their children are happy and confident and they are very well behaved.


The best choice I think Josh ever made was in finding his eternal sweetheart, Melodie. They met when they both served as performing missionaries in Nauvoo, Illinois. The first time we met Melodie, we were touched by her warmth, her radiance, and her goodness. She is a blessing to Josh and to all of us!

Josh and Melodies’s house tends to be “Command Central,” as Brit has called it. Over the years, they have welcomed everyone to stay there. They have tirelessly changed bedding, set up beds, hosted family gatherings there, and welcomed Steve, Dave and Lori and their kids, Matt and Brit (before they got their own home a few blocks away), Emilie (who stayed there for about a year I think), Joel and Heather, Stan and I, Caitlin, and Nathaniel. All of us, in addition to other family members from Melodie’s side. I enjoy the spirit in their home. It is loving and patient, and I know that Josh and Melodie are doing their best to keep their relationship strong and raise their children well.

Josh, I am very proud of you, and I love you very much. Happy Birthday, Dear Son!

Adam Matthew Gardner

The handsome young man you see in this picture is Adam Matthew Gardner, who turned five years old on July 6! Adam is Josh and Melodie’s oldest son. His siblings are named Jarom Dallen, Rachel Lovina (who was featured in another blog entry earlier), and Joshua James.
Adam is a very bright little boy. He is full of life and interested in everything. I would have to say his greatest love seems to be playing the cello. He is already quite proficient, especially for a five-year-old! He has a number of pieces in his repertoire. He doesn’t need to have music to be able to play “I Am a Child of God.” He performed that piece beautifully at the family reunion we just had in Provo Canyon has week, and completely wowed the whole Gardner family!
Adams’ cello teacher is his Aunt Brittany. She has encouraged him and helped him to learn so much. Now she is also teaching Jarom how to play the cello! Adam works hard to learn, and his mother Melodie is wonderful at helping him to practice consistently.

Adam seems to remember everything he is told, and he is very good with his brothers and sister. He takes care of them, he helps his mother and father, and he sets a good example. He and Jarom are best friends. Yesterday I was able to visit their family and I enjoyed watching how he and Jarom interacted. They truly enjoy each other.


He also has learned to read quite well, mostly teaching himself. He enjoys learning.
I guess when you’re talking about your grandchildren (and your children!) you tend to be a little bit prejudiced. But that’s ok—I just have to say that Adam Matthew Gardner is a wonderful boy and I am so proud of him! I love him very much. Happy birthday this month, Adam!

A Fun Idea...

I got this off my friends blog and thought it might be fun, plus it gives me a chance to find out how many people actually read my blog :)

1. As a comment on this post, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you

Panda-monium!

This is for those that haven't seen the 16 baby pandas. SICHUAN , China -- One zoo in southwest China has its hands full with 16 baby pandas.

The Sichuan Wolong Panda Protection and Breed Center is dealing with the results of a breeding boom where 16 pandas have been born.

The brood includes five sets of twins.

The cubs are weighed and measured every five days (see pics)

The heaviest tips the scale at just over 24 pounds, while the lightest weighs about 11 pounds.

The pandas are due to stop suckling soon - just about the time they'll start learning to walk.

Once weaned, the panda cubs will attend panda kindergarten.

In the meantime, more little ones are expected at the centre since 38 giant pandas were artificially impregnated.
Sorry these are so little! I couldn't get my computer to transfer the pictures any larger. But they're still VERY cute!

Thoughts to Make You Smile

Dream what you want to dream;
Go where you want to go;
Be what you want to be,
Because you have only one life
And one chance to do all the things
You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human and
Enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
Have the best of everything;
They just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
Be based on a forgotten past;
You can't go forward in life until
You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling
Live your life so at the end
You're the one who is smiling and everyone
Around you is crying.

- Anonymous

My Man Stan

The guy you see to your left is the greatest man in the world. I know some of you might argue with that, but you're probably married to his sons, so you have to credit the source. I have been married to My Man Stan for over 35 years; this year will be the 36th on December 15. I can honestly say I have never met a kinder, more compassionate, more willing to serve person than Stan.

When I first met Stan, he was dating my best friend Elaine. The staff for the high school newspaper was assembled in our classroom, busily working on the next issue of the paper. My friend was the editor in chief and I was the editorial editor. In walked this amazing, tall dark and handsome (ok, well, not ALL that tall!) dude. My heart and just about all my innards did a flip flop. He was incredibly attractive! I felt terrible--having feelings for my best friend's boyfriend? I quickly squelched the idea and ducked my head right back down to my work on the desk, all the time being amazed at my reaction to this guy. He literally about knocked me off my feet!

About that time, I was dating a cute, balding return missionary who had gone to Scotland. But it clearly wasn't going anywhere. Meanwhile, Elaine's former boyfriend was dating our other girlfriend Shirley--not seriously, just fun. We kind of had this "As the World Turns" type of story line going on with our whole group--but you need to understand, that's the way people dated in those days. We just all had a great time with each other.

Along with working on the school newspaper, I was the high school reporter for KOVO radio. Every week I went in and recorded a little blurb about what was going on in the school. I always had to know the scores for the games, but I never went to the games. So someone suggested that I should call Stan Gardner. I did. He always knew the scores, and after a few calls he started asking me if I'd like to go see the next game with him (then I could write down the score as it happened). I always politely refused--after all, I was dating another guy.

And so it was that over time Merrill (my RM boyfriend) and I broke up, and so did Stan and Elaine. But we were all going to prom with the wrong people! So in a moment of privacy during our prom date, I asked Elaine to let Stan know I was "available." I think he asked me out a week or so later. In fact, I think I took him on a treasure hunt picnic. We also went to see Camelot at the theater. Afterwards he took me to his house for ice cream, because it was free there, and it cost 10 cents at the ice cream shop. We had a bowl of ice cream and then he played "Clair de Lune" for me on the piano.

I practically swooned. I was totally wowed by this guy.

But I fought it. Over the course of the next several months we became close friends. We read the Book of Mormon together, we talked a lot, we hiked up to the top of the Y to watch the sunrise while we ate oranges. We went a lot of places with the whole group. We became partners on the ballroom dance team at the school (he would come pick me up in his tennis shorts and do the tango just before tennis practice).

Some of the things that attracted me to Stan that I have found to be super important over the years: he has absolute integrity. He has drive and dedication. He is talented, but he works very hard to develop his talents. He is faithful to me, to our family, to the Gospel. He is thoughtful and kind. He loves to learn. And he is infinitely wise.

We dated for several months. We didn't kiss until the night we graduated from high school. Okay, I'm not going into any more detail there, but suffice it to say, we were in love over the summer, and that love continued as we grew and worked on our individual goals. In the fall we were both supposed to go to BYU, but his parents were wise and felt it would be best if there was a little distance between us. So they enrolled him at Utah State, where he got a four year tennis scholarship and majored in Pre-Med. We wrote to each other every day and it was so fun to get his letters! I still have them all, somewhere...He often came home on the weekends.

We became pretty serious, but we wanted him to go on a mission. Only problem was, it was during the Vietnam War, and young men could be drafted. The Church had arranged that two boys could go from each ward per year via a special quota system they had with the government. But there were six guys older than Stan. From every possible standpoint it seemed that he would have to wait three years before leaving on his mission. We prayed about it and made the decision that no matter how long it took, he would go.

Once we made the decision, I had a strong feeling that we wouldn't have to wait that long. Within a few months, the government announced a lottery system for the draft, based on birthdays. They put all 365 days into a bin, pulled them out and whatever number you were drawn, that was your ranking. Anyone whose birthday fell after somewhere in the 200s could serve a mission. Earlier birthdays planned on serving in the military. But there was a caveat: the Church still had the quota system in place, so they chose the two boys with the earliest birthdays and sent them on missions from the quota. Everyone else fit into the parameters for being able to go out immediately, so Stan left in the fall of 1970.

We wrote to each other, and I dated and grew spiritually while he grew spiritually on his mission. When he came home, it was obviously right. We got engaged two weeks after his return and were married three months later.

Well, that's a long story to tell about our romance! Maybe one of these days I'll tell you some more about this amazing man. His birthday is June 13th. I'll try to get some more pictures on here so you can see a little of our history, but right now I don't have a scanner and my internet connection is flaky, so it will have to wait.

I want to honor my wonderful husband, father to our adorable and amazing eight children. I love you Stan! Someday I'll give you space on my blog so you can tell YOUR side of the story!